Sun, Jun 27th

Sunday after a holiday means editing photos. That meant I spent a good amount of time editing Dawn's photos from her USA trip. I also plonked my backside in front of the television to watch England's last 16 match versus Germany in the World Cup. This will be remembered for one thing. And that was the goal that Frank Lampard scored for England that would have tied the game at 2-2. The ball hit the cross bar and bounced 18 inches behind the goal line and out again. The referee ruled the ball had not crossed the line and the game continued. From there England went to pieces and lost 4-1. Oh well. Four more years of waiting.

Sat, Jun 26th

Today my daughter popped down to Hertford to see us. We had a coffee (in her case, tea) and lunch at the White Hart. In between we wandered around town and afterwards we headed back to the house where we just chatted. All in all, another wonderful day. Spent it with Dawn, Hayley and Tiny, so how could I complain?

Fri, Jun 25th

A fairly routine non work day. Went into town and visited WH Smith and Waitrose and did the grocery shopping at Tesco. Somewhere in between we had a coffee at Starbucks and lunch at the Salisbury Arms. Went home relaxed in front of the television and had pan fried salmon with potatoes and green beans.

However, this wasn't just a routine day. I'd woken up with Dawn, spent the whole day with Dawn and went to bed with Dawn at the end of the day. Of course Tiny was with us, too. But compared to the last 10 days when Dawn was in the US, this was heaven.

Thur, Jun 24th

Took the day off work and headed out pretty early to Heathrow Airport. In fact, I was there a good few hours before Dawn arrived back from the USA. However, I just couldn't wait and felt better being there and watching the hands on a clock.

Needless to say, it felt great to have Dawn home. She spent the whole journey home filling then gaps from the tales she told me on the phone.

Back at the house, Tiny was over the moon to see her mum and even spent the night sleeping next to Dawn instead of between my legs or at my feet. She missed Dawn as much as I did.

Wed, Jun 23rd

The last three days took forever to pass. As usual, I got through work the best I could and did dinner for myself in the evening. I have to admit that I have had more than my fair share of fish and chips over the last ten days. I enjoy cooking, but if it's for someone else as well as me. Cooking for myself when my mind is somewhere else is not easy.

Thankfully, I have had my daughter Hayley dropping me a line to check up on me and Tiny for someone to hold. She has been my crutch without Dawn.

Sun, Jun 20th

Father's Day started with me opening my cards from Dawn, Hayley and Tiny. I can't deny that it brought a tear to be on my own. But I always try and see the big picture. Dawn will be back soon and these few weeks will be history. I have Hayley, and Tiny loves me more than I could have ever dreamed.

Today I also had a ride up Holloway to take my own father (and brother George) to the cemetery to visit Mum's grave (it was her birthday on the 15th), and then to the Gatehouse for lunch.

Tonight I chatted with Dawn again and heard about all what she had been up to. I have also been spending the last few nights scanning some old photos into the computer so I can produce a special gift for Dawn's birthday next month.

Sat, Jun 19th

Another strange day. Tried to do the normal things at the weekend like Cafe Yumm for coffee, shopping in town and Tesco grocery run. I even had lunch at the White Hart on my own. However, it just didn't seem the same without Dawn.

I called her this evening at the hotel and it was great to talk to her, but hell when I hang up. Thankfully Tiny slept with me all night. She makes a huge difference.

Fri, Jun 18th

Last day of my first week travelling to work on my own. Work week, that is. Again, I couldn't wait for the day to be over so I could call Dawn again tonight. Dawn was now in Greenville and spending time with her sister, Kelly, and Kelly's daughter Michaela, as well as friends for years gone by.

Tonight I watched England in a bore draw 0-0 versus Algeria in their second World Cup group match. Not good.

Missing Dawn like crazy. Thank God for Tiny.

Thur, Jun 17th

Another lonely journey to work on my own. Work again was a pain picking up the pieces from the changes.

Tonight again I called Dawn at Brady's, laid with Tiny, and even did some laundry for a change. Usually Dawn does this while I do the cooking. But with Dawn thousands of miles away, this is my job now.

Wed, Jun 16th

Yesterday was same as before, feeling like there is a huge hole in my life that is only filled when I am talking long distance to Dawn in the USA or laying with Tiny. As with last night, I called Brady's house around 7pm to talk to Dawn.

In the World Cup, Slovenia let a two goal lead slip against the US.

Mon, Jun 14th

My first day without Dawn. Caught the earlier train to work and had an important meeting with my directors regarding plans for the future. However, my highlights of the day were talking to Dawn and hearing about her time with Brady and Jim, and sitting on the couch with Tiny laying on my chest for a couple of hours. We are so close; she is my precious baby.

Sun, Jun 13th

Both of us had heavy hearts today.

Drove to Finsbury Park and then we caught the tube to Heathrow Terminal 5. We grabbed a light lunch at the airport before we went our separate ways.

Watching Dawn leave brought me to tears; it was a horrible feeling. Dawn has been so much a part of my life for so long that I felt a huge hole in my life the minute she was gone.

When I got home I called Dad as I normally do on a Sunday.

Tiny spent at least three hours this evening laying on my chest while I watched television.

Sat, Jun 12th

Count down to Dawn's USA trip is now one day and counting. Again I did the grocery shopping at Tesco on my own before we popped into town so Dawn could pick up some last bits and pieces for her trip and grabbed a bite at Lussmans.

Dawn spent most of the afternoon packing for her trip and I ordered a take out from Paddyfields so that she didn't have to clean up my mess in the kitchen.

Tonight I watched England's opening match in the World Cup. A 1-1 draw with USA thanks to a diabolical slip by Robert Green to gift the USA their equaliser. I even missed our goal as ITV HD lost its picture at the time we scored.

Fri, Jun 11th

Today I had my third meeting in three days at work. This time it was with the company we are using to deal with our credit control. Most of the discussion was surrounded around collecting the debt owed to the old company. As part of the buyout we were able to use the debtors as collateral to fund many of the payments we have needed to make to get the new company off the ground. Including last month's final pay check from old co.

Tonight I watched the start of the 2010 World Cup from South Africa. The hosts got a well earned draw with Mexico to get the tournament started. We have high hopes that this time England can go all the way.

Thur, Jun 10th

Following on from my meeting yesterday, I had to meet our insurance brokers today. Once again we were left in a corner with little or no room for manoeuvre. At least we still had insurance coverage and could carry on trading. Dawn, on the other hand, chaired her Environmental Champions Award Dinner. How times have changed. At least Dawn seems to be relatively happy in her new role.

Wed, Jun 9th

In my new role of Financial Controller I am getting more and more involved with the business descisions being made at work. Today I met with a couple of people from our vehicle leasing company to discuss how to novate our agreements from the old company to the new company and get some trackers installed in our vans. It meant making a payment up front. But without them we wouldn't be able to function. So we didn't really have any choice.

Sat, Jun 5th

Monday we enjoyed the bank holiday as work has been taking its toll on me lately. Over the last four months I often wondered whether we would survive. Administration and buyout has given us a chance. But we need to make it happen.

On Tuesday I travelled to Old Street with Dawn as I had to catch the train to Haywards Heath in Sussex to meet our new invoicing discount funding company.

Today I went to Tesco on my own before we headed into town and got our hair cut and grabbed a quick lunch at The White Hart. Tonight we chilled out in front of the television watching the Britain's Got Talent final.