Tues, Sep 7th

Left work early to drop George's clothes off at the funeral directors but no one was there. Then popped into see Dad before heading back to Hertford. Spoke to Dave and Phil to confirm details for Friday.

Mon, Sept 6th

Left work early to visit Dad and take the magazine articles up to him. Confirmed arrangements with the minister, including playing "He Ain't Heavy" and "Abide With Me" at the funeral on Friday.

Dawn placed George's obituary in this week's Islington Gazette and Hornsey Journal.

We also had the trees in the front yard trimmed. These really needed trimming and we'd arranged this before George passed away. Now they look like they have been butchered.

Sun, Sept 5th

Had a day off from visiting Dad. I spent most of the day going through George's papers and his magazines. Dad wanted me to search for articles on Pentax cameras.

Sat, Sept 4th

It was nice to be able to get away from work. It's been difficult doing my job while worrying about Dad, grieving for George, and making arrangements for his funeral.

Today we had our haircut and lunch at Old Orleans in Enfield (which was one of the worse I'd ever eaten out) before visiting Dad at the flat.

Fri, Sep 3rd

Again left work early to pop in to check on Dad. He's doing as well as can be expected.

Thu, Sep 2nd

Left work early to check on Dad. Also talked to both David and Phil, and dealt with more arrangements with the minister and funeral director. We've decided on September 10th for the funeral so Dave and Rita can now make their arrangements.

Wed, Sep 1st

This morning we heard the sad news that Brady and Jim had to let Chance go. He was just too unwell and they decided it was best to let him be at peace.

I left work early again to visit Dad at the hospital and was delighted to assist in him going home. I followed the ambulance back to the flat before getting the flat ready for him before he got up the stairs. He had countless sympathy cards that he placed around the living room. I left him with heavy heart knowing that he was not happy being home alone, but also not happy at being in the hospital either.

Tues, Aug 31st

This morning I finally broke down and told my boss about losing George and Dad being in hospital. He was very supportive and said that I could take any time I needed and offered to send some flowers.

Again, visited Dad in the hospital. He seems okay, but still no idea about when he is going home.

Tonight received a call from the minister to discuss George's funeral.

Mon, Aug 30th

The bad news just doesn't seem to want to end. Today we got news that Chance, Brady and Jim's kitty, is poorly and that they have had to call the vet to look into letting her go. I was already feeling numb with George and Dad.

Popped up to Dad's flat, my home for the best part of 17 years, and collected a load of George's paperwork as I need to sort out his estate. Then visited Dad again in the hospital before heading back to Hertford.

Sun, Aug 29th

Today Dawn and I drove to Wood Green and had lunch at Nandos before meeting Hayley outside the Whittington and popping up to the ward to visit Dad. He was still a little teary eyed, but that was to be expected. We have no idea when he will be allowed home, but that will bring problems anyway.

Sat, Aug 28th

Didn't visit Dad today. Phil and Jean popped up to the Whittington today, as did Dave and Rita before they flew back to Dublin.

Fri, Aug 27th

Dawn and I both took the day off work today and headed into London to sort out one or two things. The coroner had released George's death certificate which confirmed a massive heart attack so we could go to Islington Town Hall to register his death. We then headed to Archway to meet with the funeral director to discuss plans for George's funeral before popping into the hospital to spend some time with Dad.

Wed, Aug 25th

Didn't leave work early to visit Dad today. Dave and Rita arrived from Dublin and headed up the hospital instead. They, along with Denise and young David, seem to be taking George's loss harder than most because they are so far away and feel so helpless. It helped them a little to see Dad.

Tues, Aug 24th

Work has been a blur the last two days. I have told no one there about losing George or about Dad in hospital. My boss allowed me to leave early yesterday and today. Working in Enfield means that it's only a 30-40minute drive to the Whittington to see Dad. He is grieving a lot over George. I've already told him to leave everything up to me to sort. This is the last thing he needs to worry about.

I also popped into the flat to start clearing up alot of the mess in George's bedroom. You couldn't swing a cat the way he'd left it and I didn't want Dad to have to deal with it.

Sun, Aug 22nd

If we thought things couldn't get any worse this weekend, we were completely wrong.

This afternoon I got a call from Dad to say that he had blood in his catheter and had called for an ambulance. I once again jumped in the car and drove into London, rushed into the A&E and was directed to Dad who was in a cubicle no less than 20 feet from where I had seen George a little less than 48 hours earlier.

Sat, Aug 21st

Dad normally goes down Nags Head with George on Saturday mornings, or usually George goes on his own. We agreed last night that we would drive up and take him down there as usual. It wouldn't be the same as with George. But I think we all knew that nothing would ever be the same again.

Dad had wanted to go to the post office to get some cash out. But he wasn't ready, so we took him Morrisons to pick up his groceries and a cooked chicken that the three of us shared for lunch.

The three of us felt completely numb. I spoke to David, Rita and Denise on the phone and Phil and Jean made it up to Dad's too. We all knew that George was grossly underweight, but as with most things in life, we all thought it would never happen.

Fri, Aug 20th

The events of the week paled into insignificance following a phone call from Dad tonight. Dawn and I were relaxing in front of the television when the phone rang. With all Dad's health problems, we always dread a call out of the blue. However, it was Dad's voice on the phone this time and he said that my brother had collapsed and that it looked like George had just had a heart attack.

Dawn and I immediately threw our shoes and coats on and headed down the A1o to be with George and Dad. Shortly after hearing Brothers in Arms by Dire Straits, and after crossing the North Circular, my cell phone rang. It was Dad with the sad news that George was gone. It had been less than an hour and came as a complete shock that my eldest brother was no longer with us.

At the hospital Dawn and I made our way into the cubicle to be with Dad and see George. I then had to phone my other brothers Dave and Phil to give them the tragic news. Like me, they feared something had happened to Dad and were in complete shock that George had gone ahead.

We took Dad back to the flat and after a hot drink and some reminiscing we left Dad and headed back home with heavy hearts and feeling a little numb.

Here is the last photograph we took of George on 07/08/2010.

Sun, Aug 15th

The week started with Dawn calling Brady on Monday evening to wish her mother a happy birthday. I'm sure Brady enjoyed hearing her daughter's voice on her special day. But, I also know that it was bittersweet because she was so far away.

Another busy week at work. On Tuesday I went to a meeting in Luton to discuss our account and rebates. The rest of the time was spent working on July's management accounts. Something I have neglected to mention over the past few weeks is that I have been walking half way to work in the mornings and back to Enfield Chase Station after work. I'm trying to lose weight and get fitter and this is an ideal way to do it.

Yesterday I did the grocery shopping at Tesco on my own before Dawn and I headed into town to pick up some odds and sods and grab some lunch at the Whistling Duck.

Today I attacked the back yard. We'd decided to pull up the vegetables for the season and clear all the rubble and dirt that had been making the yard look a mess.

Sun, Aug 8th

Once more it was a hectic week at work. This time one of my senior colleagues was made redundant. And by senior I am not just referring to age. Still trying to come to terms with the changes and training someone new in accounts at the same time.

This weekend we caught the train to Finsbury Park and popped into PAKS for some toiletries before grabbing lunch at Nandos and popping into see Dad for a little while.

Two points worth mentioning is that today I finished the last of my double-sided steel blades. I bought twenty packs of fives early last year to cut down on waste and plastic. It's been a huge success. Also, I emailed Seahavens in Cornwall as we're planning to go back to Hayle next summer.

Sun, Aug 1st

This week was busy as usual. Dawn went to Greenwich University on Tuesday. I finalised the monthly payroll with Nat's help, and spent more time that I cared for working on several lists and questions from an external accountant that we have helping with our accounts at the moment. In fact, I never got the accounts finished until Friday.

Yesterday we did our errands in town before having lunch at the George and Dragon in Watton on Stone to celebrate the 14th anniversary of our very first email in 1996 before heading to Stevenage to pick up some litter for Tiny and a new laptop for me from PC World. However, after we'd sorted everything out, they would not let us leave with one because I couldn't remember the pin for my new credit card. This meant going home without it, finding the pin, and then heading over to Harlow where I picked one up there instead.

Today was spent setting up the laptop and moving files around. It's supposed to be a quick thing, but as always takes up the whole of the day.